Tough Girls Come From NJ

This photo reminds me of the complete freedom I feel when my mind is 100% present in a task. I walked around the city today with all sorts of anxieties and trouble creeping in and out of my head. Fears of massive failure, letting people down, not being able to pay my rent for the first time ever, not knowing if anything I'm doing is right.. all attacked my insides and stayed in a a lump in my stomach all day. I did what I normally do in these situations, and that is, I tried to keep my head. Work on one problem at a time, if only mentally.
Last week I had run a 5k race in my birth town. It wasn't my fastest time, but it was a race well run. The eventual winner in the women's race and I took turns holding the lead right up until the finish. With about 3/4's of a mile to go, she picked up the pace, and I was so tired, I just tried to maintain the roughly two-telephone pole distance that grew between us. Then she entered the track for the final 100 meters to the finish. She was a local girl, and the crowds came to life. Their cheering gave me a huge adrenalin rush, and I shifted into my sixth gear, which I don't think has been used in a few years. I knew I couldn't pass her, but it was fun closing the gap. We talked afterwards, she was one of the sweetest runners I've ever met. That was an unexpected surprise- kind of like hearing Mike Tyson's soft-spoken voice in an interview after one of his earlier career matches. I guess that is one of the draws of racing: you get to leave yourself behind, and unleash the true warrior within.